2022 in review & 2023 resolutions

 

Oh hey, Christmas is here, and to celebrate, and to soon celebrate the end of this year and the start of 2023, I thought I would write up my opinions on 2022, and my resolutions for 2023, and to put it bluntly, 2022 fucking SUCKED.

2022 may have some fine moments on my end that I'll talk about soon, but overall this year sucked, especially for the first half of the year, with improvements by the last half. Globally, the Russian-Ukraine war, the overturning of the Roe v. Wade lawsuit (meaning anti-abortion laws are in place), and AI slowly becoming trendy in a dystopic fashion, and you can see why 2022 sucks globally, but for me it sucked because I was going through a very rough phase from the start of the year. My family was acting more aggressive during the start of 2022, my health was somewhat declining, I tried studying for CompTIA's stuff so that I could get a job in IT and gave up due to it's complexity, and I was almost doing stupid things that would've caused everyone to not have faith in me, it was all terrible on my end as well. I was pretty much depressed and in the worst mood during that time. 2022, especially the first 6 months, was a very shitty experience on my end, but that doesn't mean there's no good moments. For starters, I got my State ID around April or so, then I went to driving school around August (no license/permit yet however), I've lost some weight through walking (and 2 months ago I actually walked 10 miles on foot, which was a feat for me so far), and I restarted CyberAnima's development in Godot (previously was using Unreal Engine 4, switched due to wanting authentic retro graphic fidelity, and since using GDScript in Godot, I've made more progress on the game than the UE4 version that I started at the start of 2021), plus I made a map for a Quake mapping jam, and I started gaining more support from lots of you out there. Without any of you, anyone who follows me, or friends, I wouldn't survive this year without all of you.

With that out of the way, 2022 overall was a pretty crap year. 2021 was somewhat boring with some good moments (i.e. me getting a bank account, graduating high school, starting development of CyberAnima, retiring from making music as Digiwire, etc) and 2020 was obviously a shit year for obvious reasons, but this year, while shitty, was not as bad as 2020, I'll give you that. However, I do want to make resolutions for 2023 so that I hope it wouldn't suck. Game wise, both 2021 and 2022 were not really that interesting, but 2023 will be interesting and I already made a blog post of games I'm excited for, so I guess that counts as a resolution? I don't know, but as for 2023 resolutions, I got a few, and although I really don't know if it will happen, I hope it will not result in a shitty year.

1. Getting a job

I surprisingly don't have a job and I've never worked before. The problem is trying to find a job that's completely WFH (for a variety of reasons), and something I can handle for a very long time. This boils down to three things, IT Technician, Data Entry, and QA Tester. For IT Technician, I've given up on trying to get this job due to the CompTIA certs I was studying this year being a fucking nightmare, but hey if I get the hands-on experience and/or get recommended to employers as a valid computer expert, then that's something. As for data entry, that's also something I could do, but it requires a high WPM count on both a keyboard and keypad, and I'm good with a keyboard but not a keypad (as in I have like 96 WPM on keyboard, but like 18 WPM for a keypad), but it's something I could consider. And for playtesting, I kinda wanna test a lot of games of my genre variety (FPS games, hack n' slashes, TPS) since I have specific genres I really enjoy, but I've tried contacting some developers I like for open playtesting jobs, they're not open or valid for me to apply, which sucks. But hey, maybe next year I can try to find a proper job. As of right now, I've signed up some service for doing QA Testing for websites, and I have my Fiverr gig open for doing album art for apox. a month now, but sadly I haven't gotten any customers yet. But again, I hope I do get customers, or I get a proper job that I earn a good amount of money with per day or week or so, since I only get paid apox. $500 per month from my parents for doing chores, which is good enough only to cover groceries and utilities, and that's it. But despite that, I do hope I get a proper job next year, and hey if my game speeds up development at the point where people want to donate to me, and soon maybe selling it, then there's that, but it's always good to have a normal job for a constant flow of income.

2. Getting a driver's license

In 2022, I got the chance to finally go to driving school after waiting for my State ID, money, and other info so that I could apply for it. I did it but never got my license because it was all studying, no simulations or actual driving. I did do one simulator afterwards, but I was scolded by my teacher for not being as good as some 13 year old in the same room, even though I was doing fine with minimal crashes. After that, I haven't done anything driving related afterwards. My hope is due to financial issues, is for me to borrow my parents car and to drive it in the middle of nowhere so that I could get the hang on how a car works, maybe pretend how to parallel park and do all kinds of other things so I could learn properly on what to do, though this idea may fall flat and in the end I may need to do more simulators and afterwards, genuine driving. For now I've been taking a break from driving studies until winter is over since learning to drive during the winter is extremely dangerous, and I want to wait till spring or summer to continue. I don't know if I'll do more driving stuff, or at least get my license next year, but it depends, and it's important.

3. Making CyberAnima more palatable

So far for CyberAnima, the game is kinda been slowing down since the start of December, but in my defense it's less about laziness and more about just wanting time off for the holidays. The game still looks like a crummy prototype, and there is a somewhat basic weapon system, but it needs reworking since I want it to be more like Half-Life's than just being a simple number based variable system (HL1/Red Faction/DNF 2001's weapon system I believe is a current weapon variable, which is an array, with each weapon in different arrays for each weapon section, don't know how I'm gonna accomplish that but that is one goal). But a simple yet big accomplishment I've done with CyberAnima is have interactibles. Currently there's a toilet, that flushes with sound, and can be destroyed with a weapon, albeit with no debris. Plus the weapons may need reworking code wise since you can hold it down and constantly destroy things rather than it behaving like an actual gun, all the weapons implemented so far are all hitscan based. I also have basic enemy AI system going on, but all it does is turn and apply -5 damage to you every 0.5 seconds, so that needs reworking as well. But something I really hate about CyberAnima, even though it's not a good idea to do this until 99% of the systems in my game is working, is to make the game look presentable. I'm not trying to scam everyone by having all assets but no game, but since CyberAnima has been in the oven since early 2021 (and with development restarting in May 2022 when I switched from UE4 to Godot), I really just want to figure out how to make the game palatable, visually, so that people could gain support for me to finish the game. I've also been considering hiring people to help me out, but considering I don't have a job right now to pay them, I don't know how the fuck that would work. I think freelancers to help me with the 3D/2D/promo/other stuff will work, but coding wise I think I'll be somewhat fine doing all the shitmath all myself, till it gets too complex. Visually, I want CyberAnima to look like an 6th generation game. Dreamcast, PS2, etc. Early 6th gen, before id Tech 4 and games with glossy models, stencil shadows, normal maps, etc. I know people have nostalgia for that, and if CyberAnima actually releases I do wanna make a joke update that includes stencil shadows, ambient occlusion, ray-tracing, etc, but that's not what CyberAnima is going to look like. I want CyberAnima to have somewhat mid-poly models, but still low-poly, kinda lo-fi textures but with bilinear filtering (i.e. textures are around 128x to 256x pixels), the cutscenes have some facial movement with movements being jankivly mo-capped (I can possibly do it since I own a Valve Index headset but no hip/leg trackers for somewhat full body tracking), etc. I want this game to scream the early 2000s loud and clear, both in visuals and audio. And my plan is that once I do get some assets ready, then I'm going to pull a Duke Nukem Forever 2001 and make a trailer chock full of amazing shit, which are made for the trailer, but since it's within the design docs and all that, it will be a part of the game. No lies here, 90% of what I want to do with CyberAnima's trailer will be a part of the final game, with my current plan being for CyberAnima to be an Early Access title, but this might change. I just want people to be on board with what I'm doing, and to have something palatable like a reveal trailer with lots of things going on could work. This possibly sounds like a bad idea overall, but I'm willing to tweak it and figure out what to do so that people can be on board with my game. If you love early 2000s nostalgic wackiness and want to help me on this game (i.e. concept art, 3D work, 2D work, etc), even though I can't pay you, feel free to get in touch with me, but as it stands, I want to wait till I get a job so that I have a source of income to pay freelancers or people willing to give a fuck about CyberAnima, but this depends. For now, I really hope CyberAnima can see some milestones since this year for CyberAnima was 100% better than 2021 when the UE4 ver. was just nothing but a simple player controller and nothing else. This year saw a lot more for CyberAnima than when it started, which makes me happy, and gives me hope for next year.

4. Making myself healthier somewhat

As of now I weight apox. 240-ish lbs, an improvement from last year when I was nearly obese (apox. 270 lbs or so) and I have been slowly eating more protein fueled food, while only eating addictive shit when I feel like it, which nowadays is apox. once or twice per 1-2 weeks or so, even then I rarely eat nowadays since my stomach is constantly getting used to not having food for a while due to my low grocery count, but maybe by next year if my stomach genuinely gets used to it combined with constant exercise, I could very well lose some weight. I don't know if it will happen, but if I can lost -20 lbs or something along the lines of that in 2023 then that would be wild. I'm also coaxing my parents into me getting an E-scooter as a light form of transpiration through the safer areas in my hometown, but I'm still talking to my parents and I think I have the money to get one (thanks to my family giving me money for the holiday season), but we shall see. It would still be very fun to own one.

 

In short, 2022 was pretty much a crap year, and I'm REALLY hoping that 2023 would be better than this year, but I have my doubts. There's new games coming out, but I'm real worried that stuff that I want to do is all going to fail spectacularly somehow, due to slow family, or COVID, or any other issue that blocks my path. But hey, if nothing wrong happens and I seem to have a good time next year, then that can be some kind of redemption after the shittiness of 2022 and 2020, and the boring nature of 2021. The only way to know however, is to find out. I hope you all have an amazing Christmas, and I hope you all have a happy new year as well. I just acquired champagne, therefore I know my new year's hopefully gonna be a blast.

stixc's 15 Most Antipated Games of 2023

 

(sorry for the cruddy drawing thumbnail, I wrote this around midnight lole)

 

So 2022 is coming to a close, and before I can make a resolutions post after Christmas, I decided to do something a bit more idiosyncratic and fun in tone, if all goes to fruition. What games am I excited for next year? I am making this list because I don't think we have gotten a sweep of games I'm interested in for the past 2 years or so, 2020 gave us Doom Eternal, Animal Crossing, and tons of other things, but after that, in my eyes, it felt like a drought, but 2023 feels like we are going to get a dump of good, interesting and insane games again, if all goes to plan. Keep in mind that this is MY LIST, and I have my own opinions, therefore you may not like the games on here, or the opinions I say about them, but I am doing this out of stupid fun, and hey maybe you can be excited for a lot of things that are coming out next year!

15. Starfield (Bethesda Game Studios/Bethesda)

 

 

Looks like the lie teller himself Todd Howard is making a new franchise! Teased back at E3 2018, and with a release date of hopefully 2023, Starfield is Bethesda's newest IP since creating The Elder Scrolls in the 90s (Fallout was an IP they acquired in the 2000s from Interplay so it rarely counts), and they seem to be super ambitious about it. Judging by gameplay, it seems to incorporate the usual Bethesda role-playing immersive-sim-esque elements I've seen, but with various twists, including having your own spaceship, flying in space ala No Man's Sky or Spore, and possibly more. Lots of people are not too keen on Bethesda's stuff nowadays, considering the shitshow that was Fallout 76, even if it's recovering, but hey if it ends up being good by everyone's standards I'll give it a shot.

14. System Shock Remake (Nightdive Studios/Prime Matter)

 

I really hope this can FINALLY release next year. This remake of the 1994 immersive sim has been in development for a SUPER long time, and has switched engines since 2018, and judging by the demo, it seems really good, if not better than the original, since I'm not a fan of the original, even with the Enhanced Edition stuff included. As a result, I am super hyped for this game, but I'm worried if it will ever come out, but it seems like it's reaching a releasable state, but we shall see. I really want to finally experience this, and I hope System Shock 3 can somehow be resurrected since we last saw something interesting in 2019 I think. I really hope this ends up being really good, since the demo was really amazing to play.

 

13. Trepang2 (Trepang Studios/Team17)

I've been eyeballing this game for a while now. Imagine F.E.A.R. but without a spoopy ghost girl, fridge horror, and with lots of other cool elements. That's Trepang2. I've played the demo of this a couple months ago, and I really enjoyed it. The wackiest thing is that I played through the demo, enjoyed it, then months later, the itch from the demo came back to me and I really want to play it over and over again because of how much fun I realized it was. For a two-team game, it's super polished and feels like a really fun AAA game, it's the F.E.A.R. 4 or reboot we never got. The game was actually supposed to come out this year, but it got delayed till 2023 for obvious reasons, and I'm fine with that. Games deserve the time they need to be the best they can be, crunching can just make it a sloppy mess. Patience is what matters, and I'll be ready when this game finally comes out, since it's super fun to mess around, even in the demo.

12. Resident Evil 4 Remake (Capcom)

I've got a shitty confession to make. I've never played Resident Evil 4 until now, I've had it in my Steam library for a long time, but I've never gotten to play it till now when I received my Steam Deck for my birthday, and it's actually a pretty solid survival horror game. I can see how it shaped a lot of games afterwards, and to see a remake crop up after the remakes of RE2 and RE3, I'm excited for it. I never cared for the newer Resident Evil games (7 and Village), but the remakes captivated me a lot, and I'm real excited for this.

11. SpongeBob SquarePants: The Cosmic Shake (Purple Lamp Studios/THQ Nordic)

SpongeBob was a show I grew up with when I was a wee one, and I've watched the hell out of it till it got stale and annoying around the mid/late 2000s. SpongeBob influenced a lot of what I do nowadays, and video game wise, Battle for Bikini Bottom, and it's 2020 remake were really amazing platformers, so to see the devs behind the remake work on an original SpongeBob platformer that's a theoretical sequel to Battle for Bikini Bottom (or the movie game if you want to think like that) is exciting. It already looks super polished, and I'm real excited to play it when it comes.

10. Compound Fracture (Iteria Games)

 

Have you ever wanted the FPS equivalent of Half-Life mixed with the terrors and fears from Dino Crisis? This is exactly that. Having PSX aesthetics, which makes it seem like some FPS spinoff of Dino Crisis, this game is basically a survival horror FPS about you going up against dinosaurs that haven't been extinct in a fossil fuel company that's abandoned. I've been eyeballing this for a while, and I'm really excited when it comes out soon-ish or later.

9. EXOCIDE (Hellforge Studios/Apogee Entertainment)

You know how I mentioned Battle for Bikini Bottom? That's a 2000s game, most of the soul is because it's from the 2000s and it has a certain magic that modern gaming lacks. Now take that philosophy, and apply it to an FPS, destined to be a early 2000s nostalgic surreal game. That's EXOCIDE. I've been following the development of this game since it got announced, back when it was the dev doing his own thing, before Apogee picked up the publishing rights and all. It SCREAMS the 2000s like crazy, with the vegetation in one of the levels reminding me a lot of Far Cry, the King Kong game, etc, with the combat and character design reminding me a lot of Area 51 2005 and Ratchet & Clank, with the combat being a mix of ULTRAKILL and Quake-esque combat, with some wild & insane abilities, including the ability to skate around Tony Hawk style. As a result, I'm super excited for this game, and the game is releasing in Early Access around 2023, which is super exciting. 

8. Lollipop Chainsaw Remake (Dragami Games)

This year, a company known as Dragami Games announced that they are working on a remake of the 2012 mallgoth idiosyncratic fun hack n' slash game Lollipop Chainsaw, from the minds of James Gunn and Suda51. Sadly, both of them are not involved, I don't know if Akira Yamoka is involved too, and I bet Jimmy Urine of Mindless Self Indulgence fame (who did the boss themes) is obviously not gonna be involved considering he's under fire for pretty nasty reasons, but despite that, I'm really hoping this game turns out as fun as the original, considering the original wasn't on PC. I hope it comes out this year, and I don't know when.

7. SPRAWL (Maeth Corporation/Rogue Games)

Let's see some tech and blood. I've been following SPRAWL's development for a while, I was introduced to this game because I follow a lot of Y2K designers and some of them worked on this game, combined with my music friends supporting the game when it got announced (before Rogue picked up publishing rights). Most of it is because the co-dev of this game is a musician, REVEL to be specific. As a result, compared to other boomer shooters having a metal soundtrack, and cyberpunk games having a synthwave soundtrack, SPRAWL's soundtrack contains a lot of drum n' bass, 90s techno, big beat, all akin to being like a weird blend between the Hackers soundtrack, mid 2000s neurofunk, and the Blood Rave scene from Blade (which in one trailer for SPRAWL, it does reference this). Combined with the gameplay having a Quake/Doom Eternal-esque feel, with a Half-Life-esque progression (at the point were I would call this game a Half-Like than a boomer shooter), this game certainly feels unique and I'm real excited to play it. Hell, it may even influence my game somehow! According to Rogue's Twitter, this game is coming out around Spring 2023, so I'm real excited to play it when it comes.

6. Slayers X: Terminal Aftermath: Vengance of the Slayer (Big Z Studios/No More Robots)

a spinoff from that one video game someone played about some DUMB headband internet thingy............... wow that's stupid bwl, this game is made by the EDGEMASTER himself ZANE_ROCKS_36 with authenthic late 90s 2.5d graficks, a hardcore extreme metal soundtrack by the rock godz themselves Seepage and others, and very powerful gameplay like all teh other 2.5d games, and this game will RULE.... hopin' it comes out soon, if not, the cruddy publisherz will pay.... bwl...

In all seriousness, this is a spin-off to Hypnospace Outlaw, a 90s internet simulator, starring everyone's favorite mallrat Zane Lofton, in his own game akin to the BUILD engine era of the 90s. The soundtrack is amazing, considering I have an itch for nu-metal, and the gameplay is really good based on the demo. It's coming out next year, which is exciting to see.

5. Dreamsettler (Tendershoot/Noble Robot/No More Robots)

Speaking of Hypnospace Outlaw, there's a sequel that's coming out next year called Dreamsettler. This time it's set in the early/mid 2000s, with a completely different sleep-based internet service. Zane canonically returns, a lot of familiar faces will pop up, and it seems to be a bit more ambitious than Hypnospace. As a result, I am really excited for this game, looks to be a sequel I would enjoy a lot, considering I clocked in a lot of time in Hypnospace Outlaw.

4. Armored Core VI: Fires of Rubicon (FromSoftware/Bandai Namco)

Another crappy confession I would like to make right now. I've never played a single FromSoftware game aside from The Adventures of Cookie & Cream, and a tiny bit of Armored Core 3. I've never played a Souls game in my life, but despite this, I am a huge fan of FromSoftware's catalog, and to see them return to the Armored Core franchise after a decade of Souls games, is very exciting. I don't know if this game would be Souls-influenced, compared to previous Armored Core games being very unique, but whatever the case, I am really happy that this series is back. I enjoy mecha games and mecha stuff, and this looks to be super promising.

3. Bomb Rush Cyberfunk (Team Reptile)

Now this is something I've also been waiting a while for. Bomb Rush Cyberfunk is a spirtual successor to Jet Set Radio from the same developers as Lethal League, with Hideki Nagamura, the funkmaster himself returning from both Jet Set and Lethal League to compose the game's beautiful and funky fresh soundtrack. Judging by gameplay, it seems to be more in line with Jet Set Radio Future, but without the washed out colors of that game, being more vibrant here, at the point were it looks like it can be BETTER than all of the Jet Set Radio games, it looks so ambitious, and they promise it will come out around Summer 2023, so I'm prepared for it's eventual release. I enjoy these kinds of colorful games.

2. Brickadia (Brickadia Development Team)

When I was a wee one, I used to play a little LEGO game called Blockland. I may have fond memories of that game, but the developer and it's community was toxic, combined with the game being built on a very outdated game engine. Low and behold, a bunch of actually nice people of the community, aware of it's toxicity, and wanting to make something much better, started work on Brickadia, and I've been an Open Alpha user as of 2019 (as of the release of the Brickadia trailer a couple days ago, Open Alpha has been closed registration-wise), and the game keeps on getting better and better with each new update. But since the new trailer dropped, they announced that the game now has a Steam page (for context the game during it's Open Alpha period was only available through it's website) and says that the game will enter it's Early Access phase by April 2023. With the new Early Access version of Brickadia, they are promising the wires system, behaviors, brick physics & destruction, and working buildable vehicles, to name a few, with even more ambitious stuff like modding going to be a feature for the far future (as in 2024 or later). I've clocked so many hours into Brickadia, I really love it, and I'm super excited for the Early Access version soon. I have all my respect for the developers for crafting such an ambitious sandbox game like this.

1. Phantom Fury (Slipgate Ironworks/3D Realms)

On the topic of 2000s-esque games, from SpongeBob, to EXOCIDE, to SPRAWL, and to Bomb Rush Cyberfunk comes this. A entry in the Bombshell series (inc. Ion Fury), Phantom Fury is a Half-Like that I did not see coming. I knew 3D Realms were working on a Y2K shooter (they teased a prototype back in 2020 just called Ion Fury 2001, in reference to something I'll talk about soon) but I did not expect them to suddenly tease it out of the blue during this year's Realms Deep conference. The game looks super solid, looks super chock full of fun, story, and excitingly, Colonel John Blade from SiN, which gives me a bit of hope about SiN Reloaded coming soon. As a result, with it's cityscape, and Half-Like gameplay, the game is paying homage to the early 2000s version of Duke Nukem Forever, when the game was almost about to be promising, before it got delayed, before Randy Greaseford finished it to a mediocre product, and on that note the Duke Nukem Forever 2001 build got leaked this year and fans are trying to patch it up to an actual playable game which I'm also excited about. Phantom Fury looks to be possibly my GOTY for 2023, unless something else is gonna supersede it, but it looks so fun and I cannot wait to play it when it releases. Ion Fury was hella fun for a boomer shooter, but this is something different, but as fun as that.

an idiotic conclusion

Next year is promising a lot of games that I really want to play very badly. From shooters, mecha games, platformers, anything that triggers the fun, idiotic section of my brain, since those kinds of things are what I enjoy the most. I've covered AAA games to indie games, I'm really hoping 2023 can deliver a lot of what I've been waiting for a while. 2022 gaming wise for myself was meh. I've played, to name a few, Jabroni Brawl Episode 3, POSTAL Brain Damaged, Turbo Overkill, Bonelab, Overwatch 2, and High On Life, and I've yet to play a lot of games that came out in 2022 due to me being poor, with a lot of games being super expensive, even if it's one sale (THIS MEANS YOU ELDEN RING), and in this list I also didn't cover games that have an unknown release date, but if I were to name a few, then SiN Reloaded, Judas, Routine, Core Decay, Selaco, Bionicle: Masks of Power, Vampire Bloodlines 2, The Last Exterminator, Fortune's Run, Hellboy Web of Wryd, and Deltarune come to mind, which may come out next year, or 2024, or who knows when! Anyways, I'm really hoping next year can deliver products I can really enjoy that I haven't been able to enjoy in a while. I always go back to older games during new game droughts, and it works a lot. From abandonware games, to games I missed out on, to anything really that I discover that fills in my wacky fun void in my cerebrum works. But hopefully, next year can change that.

 

1-19-2023 UPDATE -- Atomic Heart, which was #1 in the list in this post has been removed due to me discovering the developer is being funded by corporations that are also funding Russian's army with weapons and tools to harm Ukraine. It has been replaced with Compound Fracture somewhere in this list, as #1 is Phantom Fury currently. Even though Compound Fracture might not come out in 2023, as it has an unknown release date, I've added it anyways since there isn't really anything of my interest, even AAA wise that I am excited for.

 

An elucidation for an decaying one, now with ingurgitating alcohol (21 years old)

 

Welp. It has happened. I'm now 21 years old. I'd never thought I would reach this age, though it's common to reach up to this point. I'm just amazed at how my life has expanded through out the times. I was born with low functioning autism, later diagnosed with Asperger's, ADHD, and other things, and throughout my early life, from birth up until I was about 12 or so, I suffered with the inability to speak, loss of function, sensory issues, and lots of other mental issues, in which most of them have been purged and cured, while others still persist, and will probably persist throughout my lifetime with no way to remedy it. It sucks to still be cursed with those kinds of things, but I was able to get through so much throughout my life that I finally reached the forbidden age that allows me one thing in particular I can accomplish without getting noted by authorities: drinking.

I'd admit, alcohol was something I kind of feared for a while, but at the same time, I was so mystified by what's out there. Beer, wine, whiskey, bourbon, vodka, zoomer seltzers, stuff like that. I did have some sips here and there before reaching this age, sorry to admit, then again we all go through that, as long as we have permission from a parent/guardian. Elsewhere, I would probably be in prison for hoarding a 6 pack in my fridge without my parents consent. Anyways, I've had it before in some sips, and to be fair, it's fine. It's not super delicious, but it's not that bad, and I don't find myself becoming an actual alcoholic because of it. However, if someone offers me alcohol, and I'm feelin' down for it, I will consume it of course! I'm not gonna turn it down all the time. I'm not anti-alcohol or anything. Yes, it can potentially be bad for you, not as bad as cigs, drugs, or any other form of toxin out there, but it can be if you abuse it, and that's something I'm not gonna try to steer into. I prefer drinking sodas and funny fruit juices anyways, even coffee and water fill in those voids to be honest.

However, the time going from my birth, to some dark areas as a kid, teen, and adult, to now have been slow in my eyes, but now that I am someone with no job, but needing to find a job in the future, combined with lots of stuff happening which I hope speeds up next year, I can safely say that my life has been going quicker than usual since I've become an adult a couple years back (turned 18 in 2019), but now that I'm a proper adult age, I'm now realizing it. After I turned 18, I suffered through a pandemic, protests, potential war, and other issues within our world by living like a pussied hermit crab in my home, which I usually do due to sensory issues, but now even more so the minute COVID happened, and although it's clearing up and slowly getting safer out there, my mental issues still prevents me from going super social. I'm an introvert and I'm openly admitting that, and I know people are gonna be okay with that, but at the same time, lots of people are gonna be hyper pissed at me, and most of them are extroverts. Despite all that, I've managed to survive the first 2 unholy years of the 2020s, albeit I wouldn't consider them good years at all. 2020 fucking sucked, 2021 is fine, and this year is as fucked as 2020, but not to extreme levels. I'm hoping that by next year, or maybe the year after that, things can finally change and I can finally accomplish things that I really need to check off. A job, a driver's license, pawning off things I rarely use that probably cost trillions of dollars on the internet, things so that I can feel more happier and accomplish my goals of being out on my own, since I'm still with my parents for a variety of reasons. 

Despite the ups and downs, I am still happy that I've managed to reach this far, and in terms of projects, I'm still slowly working on CyberAnima, still a crummy prototype, but still implementing things to make it more presentable and somewhat playable, though not what you might think. Hopefully by sometime in early/mid 2023 I can accomplish LOADS of things, but time is what matters, and I'd rather not crunch myself than to take my time without stress or pain. Other than that, things are been going pretty decently, and hopefully will get better when this year ends, since this year fucking sucks and I really just want to have good times for myself again. Otherwise, I'm happy for who I am, and I'm hoping I can improve myself and get some things going by the time all is in place. Thank you for sticking around, and I hope the future is much brighter out there. To all my friends and followers, and family as well, I would probably be fucked if weren't for you guys.

Thank you all,

stixc

stixc makes a Quake map!

Flatzone Maximus (qbj_stixc), by yours truly

 That's right, I've (theoretically) released a Quake map out there in the wild! Mainly for shits and giggles rather than any other reason, albeit I'm glad I made it as it could account for level design practice and all that, but still I made this just for the hell of it and I'm happy it's out. The biggest part however, is that this map is a part of a jam. Specifically Makkon's Brutalist Jam for Quake. My map alongside a lot of other contributions from a lot of cool people, from random kids all the way up to AAA developers making these in their spare time, it's chock full of variety and a spectrum of talent.

You can officially download it here from Slipseer. Other mirrors to Quaddicted and other sites are coming soon I hope, so if you use software like Quake Injector, expect that in a couple days.

Emulative vs. Enhanced graphics in throwback FPS games

I'm currently working on a game for the past year or so, and for a year when I was making the game, I was using Unreal Engine 4. I chose UE4 back in the day for the sole purpose of it's coding language, Blueprints, which is a visual language since I was too scared, afraid, and dumb enough to understand a written language, like C++. However, as time progressed, I realized how complex UE4 is on a designer's level. Blueprints is easy, but UE4's interface, and how it is internally is a clusterfuck to use. Not to mention, and for the very topic of this post, it's very hard to achieve emulative graphics in UE4, while it's easy to do enhanced graphics, which is a huge problem. Meanwhile, engines like Unity and Godot, which I've stayed away from, because even though they have visual languages, Unity having BOLT, and Godot having it's own visual stuff, it's not as documented, or as used as their main languages, with Unity using C# and Godot using GDScript. But just like I said before, despite those two engines having written languages that are harder than the visual stuff, due to the written languages being those engine's main and most documented languages, what makes me want to switch to Unity or Godot (specifically) is the interface being much cleaner, and again, wanting to achieve emulative graphics.

So let's talk about the whole "emulative vs. enhanced" graphics thing that people are so confused about, and games released now that either have emulative, or enhanced graphics. Consider this either to be an open letter to throwback FPS devs, to game devs in general, or just me rambling like a absolute cretin, read this and consider this post however you like to.

KEEP IN MIND this is my opinion, and I'm not insulting any game devs to make more emulative games over enhanced games. Make your game look, feel, sound, etc however you want, this is just a stupid little theory I'm documenting for the sake of how I want my game to be like. Any indie game you see here, give them support and love for the products they are working on, they need it!

WARNING: Images Galore to show how far we come and how far we can go towards emulative or enhanced graphics

Taking a look back at Digiwire & my music career

 

A couple weeks ago marks the 1 year anniversary of my departure from making music, and transitioning into other things, mainly game development. Today was also the day that one of my dream record labels I wanted to get on, Never Say Die, shut down. I figured due to a lot of weird shit happening within the bass music scene is changing, I'd figure I take a look back of what I've done as a musician for the past decade or so. Plus, in December of this year would be the 10 year anniversary of trying to do music as a career. So I'd figure I would tell you the history of how I started to how I ended my music career.

The story of Digiwire began back in 2012, when my dad's friend introduced me to Skrillex's Bangarang EP. I was amazed by this music, and this new wave of dubstep music at the time. Before listening to Skrillex, I was already exposed to electronic music, from big beat artists like The Prodigy, The Chemical Brothers, Fatboy Slim, etc, and I was introduced to more modern stuff like deadmau5,  Infected Mushroom, and Porter Robinson, but Skrillex was on another level. Dubstep consisted of a bunch of noises going on that intrigued me in some kind of mental way, mainly the joke term "robot sex noises", and the 140 beat akin to big beat music of the past, and reggae music as well. Afterwards, both the internet and my mom introduced me to Madeon, alongside Madeon using a device I never heard of called the Launchpad by Novation, which is a beatpad with 64 pads compared to a normal drum machine's 16 pads. I also discovered tons of other equipment I wish I had, including the Native Instruments Maschine (my dad actually allowed me to borrow his friend's Maschine back in 2013 when I was starting out), and much more. The end of 2012 was also when I was discovering even more dubstep artists, and by the time Christmas was coming up, and I wanted a Launchpad, my music career pretty much started, since that's what I wanted to do because of all of this.

Despite me getting my Launchpad for Christmas, and getting other equipment and software over time, my music was HORRIBLE when I was starting out. I think I still have some of the songs from this time frame on one of my junk drives, but I'm still unsure if I want to upload it or not. I was making music under the name "S0urce" at the time, but that quickly changed to "Chillizard" by 2016, because I wasn't attached to the name considering I wanted a mascot with my career, and keep in mind this was YEARS before people like Marshmello hit the scene, and I was mainly influenced by deadmau5 and Daft Punk anyways. The S0urce/Chillizard mascot was basically just a shitty tan lizard, mainly because it was just the first thing that came to my head, but I should also clarify that I am not a furry, and I didn't know about furries at the time when I was making music. Even when I did discover it as S0urce/Chillizard, I didn't want to make my music career about furries. I don't hate them, It's just that my career has nothing related to it, and it wasn't my intention. However, I would drop the mascot idea for Chillizard by the time I changed my DJ name again around 2018 or so, which I'll talk about soon. My name change from S0urce to Chillizard was also the period when I started taking stuff seriously, I was using lots of sample libraries and learning how synths, mixing, and other sound design techniques worked. When I started making music, I was using GarageBand and the Ableton Live demo, then by the time I took things seriously as Chillizard, I was using Mixcraft Pro, then FL Studio for a good year and a half, and finally Ableton Live, which I still use to this very day. Granted, my music still sucked around 2016/2017, mainly due to the over usage of Cymatics samples and the shit mixdown since I was still getting used to how mixing worked, but it's a step up from what I was making before then. By 2017 though, I gave up with the Chillizard alias, mainly because I was not proud of the music I was making. Plus since I was hitting puberty at the time, and I was still a bit of an autist, I was being pretty pricky here and there, resulting in some people not being so kind to who I am, thus I took a bit of a break by the time 2017 was ending. By the time 2018 started, I came back with a new name, Spectre.

Spectre was also the time I started making friends within the industry, which I've tried before when I was Chillizard, but failed due to the aforementioned autism and puberty causing me to be an asshole for a while, but it was clearing up by this time. It was also the time I dropped the idea of a mascot, and started focusing more on my music, improving my mixdowns, and making my own sounds, samples, and other tidbits so that it sounded more original. By the time 2018 was ending, I've made a lot of friends, and my music was starting to sound more and more listenable and original. 2019 rolls around and I've changed my DJ name, AGAIN. And the main reason why is because of how common of a name Spectre was. The straw that broke the camel's back was when I was minding my own business, and a promoter on Instagram said I was performing with a bunch of other people, which was false, because they tagged the wrong person, and assumed it was me, which wasn't. As a result to avoid this kind of shit again, I changed my alias to Lymewire, which originated from the peer-to-peer app of a similar name. And by the time I changed my name, that's when I really started to give a fuck about music. I released Nova Prospekt by June 2019, and despite it being eh-ish nowadays, it was actually the most palatable song I've made around that time, and it would be even better as time went on. However, the 2020s, despite being pretty successful for me to date, was also the beginning of my downfall from music.

Entering 2020, a lot of my best friends revealed that some of my friends were absolute assholes, making worser music as time went on, and them revealing they were transphobic and racist. That made me realize that not every producer is my friend, and with every friend, can come an enemy. 2020 was also when COVID happened, and I had to move into a rural area with shit satellite internet because there was no were else to go at the time. As a result, I was hit very hard with depression, and I already told a similar story in an earlier blogpost, but it's very fucked up to read, considering what I've been through. Despite this, I still tugged along to making music, and I released Guru Meditation by March 2020, which was the most successful original song I've made, mainly because my best friends now had connections to bigger artists in the dubstep/riddim scene, and they were able to show off my music to them, allowing them to highlight me as a rising star within the scene, which lead me to a slow success. By June 2020, I released a remix of The Limit by LAXX, and it did well, then suddenly out of the blue, Virtual Riot, a SUPER popular producer, reposted my song everywhere. Suddenly, the song gained more traction that Guru Meditation, and suddenly, I was getting TONS of support. However, the downward spiral was beginning around that time, as right when I was gaining support, my parents grounded me off the computer, and demanded for me to be alone for a while. Suddenly, due to me being in a rural area, with my parents off to do stuff a lot of the times, combined with disconnecting of my online friends, not to mention I have no real life friends, and even if I did, I couldn't hang out with them because of COVID and because I was in the most ruralest area known, I started to feel super depressed, and again, it's VERY worrisome, but I already talked about it. Eventually I got my privileges back after about a month or so, and by the time I moved out of the rural area by August 2020 or so, my downward spiral was beginning to start. 

Since I didn't have my proper computer by the time I moved out, and only my laptop, which at the time, it's sound card was malfunctioning, I continued to make music, but the hype around me was starting to wear down. I had a friend try to help me with management, but it didn't go anywhere. By the time I released Intertia around my birthday in October 2020,  no one really gave a fuck. There were people who were listening and supporting me, but those numbers from that one remix were the only time I've experienced such support and love towards me. But this was also around the time I've started to notice a bunch of rising producers, mainly people who SUPPORTED the enemies I made by the start of 2020, getting traction. These producers made the worst dubstep I've heard, were racist, and were potential pedophiles. One of them even perished, but I will not go into details about it, as these kinds of producers can easily hunt me down for no reason other than clout and superiority. But sufficed to say, I was starting to realize that being in the bass music scene was going from a dream to a mistake. Even when I renamed myself AGAIN to Digiwire, (mainly became Lymewire sounded like Lyme disease rather than Limewire, I didn't want to associate myself with a disease, but still keep my roots in the peer-to-peer app), no one really cared. And by the time 2021 started, I knew music was no more for me. After releasing Boombox, I've made my retirement note online, and lots of people came to my support, and gave me love for what I was doing next. Of interesting note, when I retired, someone used the name "Digiwire" for a alt-right alternative of Twitter, which is weird considering no one else used Digiwire aside from myself and probably some obscure business. 

Since then, I did think about returning one day, maybe with a one-off single or album or something, but by the time I saw even more dumbassery unfold within this scene as time went on, I eventually decided that I would never come back to this shit. I was starting to grow tired of it. The tomfoolerly around the scene, combined with my fame slowly fading away, and writer's block/loss of interest to boot, it wasn't meant for me anymore. And you know what, I'm glad I've retired. I was glad when I retired a year ago, and I'm still glad. I pretty much escaped something that was unfolding into a mess overtime, and I left at the right time at the right place. And even then, I still sometimes dick with the Digiwire page just to mess with people, mainly during April Fools, like this year when I teased a remix of Praga Khan's Injected With A Poison, but by the drop hit, I pranked everyone and told everyone I would never come back. 

But there is a bright side to my career. I've learned how to toughen up properly, and learned a lot about audio engineering and sound design in the process. I've practically knew nothing about music other than "uhh funny GarageBand does a thing" to learning TONS of things. After my retirement, I still do music on and off, mainly shitposty music, or techno or other stuff, but it's only when I feel like it, it's not a current priority of mine. I did consider doing a side alias or a band during my game development time, but I didn't. Plus I had a brief stint doing music on Fiverr, but I've closed it after a month of work due to orders getting more and more complex as time went on, despite my guidelines (the gig was on making crude 90s techno nostalgic music, yet people wanted acoustic instruments and all in my music).

To the friends that matter the most to me, I wouldn't be here without you. I may have retired, but after all that, I've pretty much learned a lot about audio and other things, and I would probably be a different person if it wasn't without my brief career in music and my friends. If you know who you are, you are amazing and I know you've helped me. And if you are an asshole who hates me, then fuck off. But again, to those who know who I am and who have helped me when I was making music, you're good, and you know that. I wouldn't exist, or be who I am now without you. And since my retirement, all of this knowledge and experience allowed me to do other things, like making games and doing other things. I still listen to dubstep and other such music from time to time, but I've grown out of it by the time I retired. But I still listen to it just for nostalgia sake, even my own music. I'm still impressed on what I've done, and although I may never make music like that ever again, I can still appreciate it. I've moved on, but again, without all of this, I could've been someone very different, compared to who I am nowadays. All of you are amazing. <3

Welcome.

Hey there, I'm Charles, also known as stixc, and I've decided to start a blog for anything.

Back then, I used to make long-ass posts on the internet and put them on TwitLonger or my carrd (my website), but those felt very inconvenient, and since I wanna write more personal and large things, I figured a blog would be a good idea. No one else is using a blog nowadays but me, and that's mainly because I like to write out things within my life, and share it on the internet without using a janky service like TwitLonger or PasteBin or even my website, it's all convenient here. But don't expect constant posts, I only write stuff when I feel like it, and it can be anything as long as it's not SUPER personal, to prevent either:

A. Cringey personal people from back in the day who were "friends" with me (ig. school friends, etc)

B. People who almost tried to dox and harass me ages ago who are still on the hunt for some odd reason

C. My parents

Plus getting super personal can cause issues in the future, like not being able to get a job, with the employers thinking I write very evil things, which I don't even do, among other things.

In a nutshell, expect any of the following:

• Semi-personal entries about my life (mostly okay stuff, there won't be anything fucked if I feel that way)
• Opinions and/or rants on stuff that I like or hate
• Devlogs for the games I'm working on
• Other things if I feel like it

I hope you are okay with me starting this, and I hope people like what I write if this suddenly gets filled up. Enjoy the ride.

-Charles