Oh hey, Christmas is here, and to celebrate, and to soon celebrate the end of this year and the start of 2023, I thought I would write up my opinions on 2022, and my resolutions for 2023, and to put it bluntly, 2022 fucking SUCKED.
2022 may have some fine moments on my end that I'll talk about soon, but overall this year sucked, especially for the first half of the year, with improvements by the last half. Globally, the Russian-Ukraine war, the overturning of the Roe v. Wade lawsuit (meaning anti-abortion laws are in place), and AI slowly becoming trendy in a dystopic fashion, and you can see why 2022 sucks globally, but for me it sucked because I was going through a very rough phase from the start of the year. My family was acting more aggressive during the start of 2022, my health was somewhat declining, I tried studying for CompTIA's stuff so that I could get a job in IT and gave up due to it's complexity, and I was almost doing stupid things that would've caused everyone to not have faith in me, it was all terrible on my end as well. I was pretty much depressed and in the worst mood during that time. 2022, especially the first 6 months, was a very shitty experience on my end, but that doesn't mean there's no good moments. For starters, I got my State ID around April or so, then I went to driving school around August (no license/permit yet however), I've lost some weight through walking (and 2 months ago I actually walked 10 miles on foot, which was a feat for me so far), and I restarted CyberAnima's development in Godot (previously was using Unreal Engine 4, switched due to wanting authentic retro graphic fidelity, and since using GDScript in Godot, I've made more progress on the game than the UE4 version that I started at the start of 2021), plus I made a map for a Quake mapping jam, and I started gaining more support from lots of you out there. Without any of you, anyone who follows me, or friends, I wouldn't survive this year without all of you.
With that out of the way, 2022 overall was a pretty crap year. 2021 was somewhat boring with some good moments (i.e. me getting a bank account, graduating high school, starting development of CyberAnima, retiring from making music as Digiwire, etc) and 2020 was obviously a shit year for obvious reasons, but this year, while shitty, was not as bad as 2020, I'll give you that. However, I do want to make resolutions for 2023 so that I hope it wouldn't suck. Game wise, both 2021 and 2022 were not really that interesting, but 2023 will be interesting and I already made a blog post of games I'm excited for, so I guess that counts as a resolution? I don't know, but as for 2023 resolutions, I got a few, and although I really don't know if it will happen, I hope it will not result in a shitty year.
1. Getting a job
I surprisingly don't have a job and I've never worked before. The problem is trying to find a job that's completely WFH (for a variety of reasons), and something I can handle for a very long time. This boils down to three things, IT Technician, Data Entry, and QA Tester. For IT Technician, I've given up on trying to get this job due to the CompTIA certs I was studying this year being a fucking nightmare, but hey if I get the hands-on experience and/or get recommended to employers as a valid computer expert, then that's something. As for data entry, that's also something I could do, but it requires a high WPM count on both a keyboard and keypad, and I'm good with a keyboard but not a keypad (as in I have like 96 WPM on keyboard, but like 18 WPM for a keypad), but it's something I could consider. And for playtesting, I kinda wanna test a lot of games of my genre variety (FPS games, hack n' slashes, TPS) since I have specific genres I really enjoy, but I've tried contacting some developers I like for open playtesting jobs, they're not open or valid for me to apply, which sucks. But hey, maybe next year I can try to find a proper job. As of right now, I've signed up some service for doing QA Testing for websites, and I have my Fiverr gig open for doing album art for apox. a month now, but sadly I haven't gotten any customers yet. But again, I hope I do get customers, or I get a proper job that I earn a good amount of money with per day or week or so, since I only get paid apox. $500 per month from my parents for doing chores, which is good enough only to cover groceries and utilities, and that's it. But despite that, I do hope I get a proper job next year, and hey if my game speeds up development at the point where people want to donate to me, and soon maybe selling it, then there's that, but it's always good to have a normal job for a constant flow of income.
2. Getting a driver's license
In 2022, I got the chance to finally go to driving school after waiting for my State ID, money, and other info so that I could apply for it. I did it but never got my license because it was all studying, no simulations or actual driving. I did do one simulator afterwards, but I was scolded by my teacher for not being as good as some 13 year old in the same room, even though I was doing fine with minimal crashes. After that, I haven't done anything driving related afterwards. My hope is due to financial issues, is for me to borrow my parents car and to drive it in the middle of nowhere so that I could get the hang on how a car works, maybe pretend how to parallel park and do all kinds of other things so I could learn properly on what to do, though this idea may fall flat and in the end I may need to do more simulators and afterwards, genuine driving. For now I've been taking a break from driving studies until winter is over since learning to drive during the winter is extremely dangerous, and I want to wait till spring or summer to continue. I don't know if I'll do more driving stuff, or at least get my license next year, but it depends, and it's important.
3. Making CyberAnima more palatable
So far for CyberAnima, the game is kinda been slowing down since the start of December, but in my defense it's less about laziness and more about just wanting time off for the holidays. The game still looks like a crummy prototype, and there is a somewhat basic weapon system, but it needs reworking since I want it to be more like Half-Life's than just being a simple number based variable system (HL1/Red Faction/DNF 2001's weapon system I believe is a current weapon variable, which is an array, with each weapon in different arrays for each weapon section, don't know how I'm gonna accomplish that but that is one goal). But a simple yet big accomplishment I've done with CyberAnima is have interactibles. Currently there's a toilet, that flushes with sound, and can be destroyed with a weapon, albeit with no debris. Plus the weapons may need reworking code wise since you can hold it down and constantly destroy things rather than it behaving like an actual gun, all the weapons implemented so far are all hitscan based. I also have basic enemy AI system going on, but all it does is turn and apply -5 damage to you every 0.5 seconds, so that needs reworking as well. But something I really hate about CyberAnima, even though it's not a good idea to do this until 99% of the systems in my game is working, is to make the game look presentable. I'm not trying to scam everyone by having all assets but no game, but since CyberAnima has been in the oven since early 2021 (and with development restarting in May 2022 when I switched from UE4 to Godot), I really just want to figure out how to make the game palatable, visually, so that people could gain support for me to finish the game. I've also been considering hiring people to help me out, but considering I don't have a job right now to pay them, I don't know how the fuck that would work. I think freelancers to help me with the 3D/2D/promo/other stuff will work, but coding wise I think I'll be somewhat fine doing all the shitmath all myself, till it gets too complex. Visually, I want CyberAnima to look like an 6th generation game. Dreamcast, PS2, etc. Early 6th gen, before id Tech 4 and games with glossy models, stencil shadows, normal maps, etc. I know people have nostalgia for that, and if CyberAnima actually releases I do wanna make a joke update that includes stencil shadows, ambient occlusion, ray-tracing, etc, but that's not what CyberAnima is going to look like. I want CyberAnima to have somewhat mid-poly models, but still low-poly, kinda lo-fi textures but with bilinear filtering (i.e. textures are around 128x to 256x pixels), the cutscenes have some facial movement with movements being jankivly mo-capped (I can possibly do it since I own a Valve Index headset but no hip/leg trackers for somewhat full body tracking), etc. I want this game to scream the early 2000s loud and clear, both in visuals and audio. And my plan is that once I do get some assets ready, then I'm going to pull a Duke Nukem Forever 2001 and make a trailer chock full of amazing shit, which are made for the trailer, but since it's within the design docs and all that, it will be a part of the game. No lies here, 90% of what I want to do with CyberAnima's trailer will be a part of the final game, with my current plan being for CyberAnima to be an Early Access title, but this might change. I just want people to be on board with what I'm doing, and to have something palatable like a reveal trailer with lots of things going on could work. This possibly sounds like a bad idea overall, but I'm willing to tweak it and figure out what to do so that people can be on board with my game. If you love early 2000s nostalgic wackiness and want to help me on this game (i.e. concept art, 3D work, 2D work, etc), even though I can't pay you, feel free to get in touch with me, but as it stands, I want to wait till I get a job so that I have a source of income to pay freelancers or people willing to give a fuck about CyberAnima, but this depends. For now, I really hope CyberAnima can see some milestones since this year for CyberAnima was 100% better than 2021 when the UE4 ver. was just nothing but a simple player controller and nothing else. This year saw a lot more for CyberAnima than when it started, which makes me happy, and gives me hope for next year.
4. Making myself healthier somewhat
As of now I weight apox. 240-ish lbs, an improvement from last year when I was nearly obese (apox. 270 lbs or so) and I have been slowly eating more protein fueled food, while only eating addictive shit when I feel like it, which nowadays is apox. once or twice per 1-2 weeks or so, even then I rarely eat nowadays since my stomach is constantly getting used to not having food for a while due to my low grocery count, but maybe by next year if my stomach genuinely gets used to it combined with constant exercise, I could very well lose some weight. I don't know if it will happen, but if I can lost -20 lbs or something along the lines of that in 2023 then that would be wild. I'm also coaxing my parents into me getting an E-scooter as a light form of transpiration through the safer areas in my hometown, but I'm still talking to my parents and I think I have the money to get one (thanks to my family giving me money for the holiday season), but we shall see. It would still be very fun to own one.
In short, 2022 was pretty much a crap year, and I'm REALLY hoping that 2023 would be better than this year, but I have my doubts. There's new games coming out, but I'm real worried that stuff that I want to do is all going to fail spectacularly somehow, due to slow family, or COVID, or any other issue that blocks my path. But hey, if nothing wrong happens and I seem to have a good time next year, then that can be some kind of redemption after the shittiness of 2022 and 2020, and the boring nature of 2021. The only way to know however, is to find out. I hope you all have an amazing Christmas, and I hope you all have a happy new year as well. I just acquired champagne, therefore I know my new year's hopefully gonna be a blast.